The lunch with my friends went fine. They all said that the meatloaf I made was the best they ever tasted, and that they'd like to join my harem since I was a great provider. I wasn't sure what they meant until I looked up the word, and I could immediately tell it would cause problems. Offspring wasn't a possibilty for me since I wasn't really a human, and multiple offspring seemed to be the main point of a harem. Luckily, both Mikey and Ifrit needed to get back to work, and Nicole had agreed to an interview, so I decided to ignore the problem for now.

Instead, I decided to do a little more investigation into multiple brains. Some of the makeshift designs I made while dumping my excess weight had shown promise, so I wanted to do some more testing. The fact that it gave me an excuse to eat some more and regain some lost calories had nothing to do with my decision.

I went back to my apartment so I could work in privacy. One of the advantages of having my own apartment was that I could stock it with supplies, and I would need some of them now to work on the brains. The fact that I'd needed to dump my energy reserves had prompted me to buy multiple bags of sugar while I was shopping for meatloaf ingredients. It wasn't as good as my own calorie storage methods since I would need to absorb it first, but it was the best I could think of until I found a supply of speedster energy bars. Rattleback was so stingy with them.

I began my experiment by forming two brains, and running Human.exe on both at the same time. Thanks to what I learned from Nicole and the will-o-wisp, the hierarchy structure between my core and the two brains prevented the micro units from becoming confused about whether or not they were seperated, and both brains continued to function even when the thought processes reached 74.235323% divergence.

I was thinking of ways to use this to my advantage, when I noticed something odd. When I turned Human.exe off and on while the other brain was already running Human.exe, I noticed a small fraction of a second where I could watch Human.exe ‘unpack’ before its contents were used to run a human mind. I’d never before seen a glimpse into the black box that was Human.exe, so immediately I began experimenting with turning it off and on over and over, so that I could glimpse more and more of the inner workings of Human.exe.

This continued for a few hours, until I finally managed to see enough of the code to identify several functions of Human.exe that I had yet to access. I made a back-up copy of my memories and Human.exe in case anything went wrong, before attempting to activate one of the functions.

“Status”

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Name: Tofu

Species: Soy Product

Class: Minion

Stats:

Modifiers:

Abilities:

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Strength: 14

+2

Shapeshift: Take the shape and appearance of a creature/object. Your stats stay the same.

Dexterity: 20

+5

Omnivore Prime: You can eat anything. You gain the natural abilities of organisms you eat.

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Constitution: 20

+5

Adorable: Your social faux pas are viewed as being cute/quirky instead of creepy.

Intelligence: 16

+3

Human.exe: You are treated as a human in all social situations.

Wisdom: 2

-4

Plot Armor: You are the main character, and cannot be reduced below 1hp during minor plot archs (psychological damage still applies as normal).

Charisma: 18

+4