Xiaoyi’s Heartache

While Jiang Danhe was eating, he did not forget to help Xiaoguo with the food. Seeing that she was busy adding food to the kids’ bowls, and was not eating much herself, he was rather concerned.

He heaped her bowl with lots of fish and meat. There was not a shred of vegetables at all.

Xiaoguo sighed and looked at Jiang Danhe helplessly. She really couldn’t eat anymore.

“This fish is amazing!!”

Shao Zhan had tasted fish prepared in various ways in the palace, but they were mostly stewed or deep fried. He didn’t expect fish to taste so good when vinegar sauce was added to it. And the fish head made by XIaoguo also tasted so fragrant and tender.

“Xiaoguo, your mind is really full of strange ideas.”

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To think that a fish could be made into three different dishes. If only those old fogeys in the place could be more creative with their recipes, then at least he would not get sick of eating the same things all the time.

When Xiaoguo heard this, she smiled shyly. “It’s alright. Isn’t eating and drinking the most important thing for humans? I enjoy thinking about food when I have the time.”

Jiang Danhe admitted proudly, “My wife is simply smart.”

Xiaoguo was trying hard to be humble but Jiang Danhe had indirectly accepted the compliment on her behalf.

As soon as he uttered those words, the people at the table laughed.

Xiaoguo ignored their teasing looks and secretly pinched Jiang Danhe under the table. When he looked over, she signaled him with her eyes to stop talking nonsense.

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Jiang Danhe was not affected by her weak pinches at all. While her hands were grabbing at his waist, he reached out and wrapped her small hand in his.

The embarrassed Xiaoguo immediately pushed Jiang Danhe away and glared at him. After which she turned her head away from him and avoided eye contact.

However, her gaze, which was not intimidating at all, had zero effects on Jiang Danhe. Instead, it caused him to chuckle.

Xiaoguo pinched him a few more times. After venting her anger, she ignored him and carried on eating.

The people at the dining table exchanged looks and smiled.

By the end of the meal, there was not much food left on the plates. There was basically no wastage.

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The chefs quickly came out from the backyard to clear the table. Xiaoguo helped to stack the plates to make things easier for them.

Shao Zhan, Jiang Danhe, and Li Shouji headed to the study after dinner.

Xiaoguo stopped the two children, who were about to follow the three men to the study. After which, she brought them back to the bedroom.

The three of them probably had things to discuss, so Zhuang Zhuang and Xiaoyi should not go in and disturb them.

When the kids returned to the room with Xiaoguo, Xiaoyi lay on the bed and vented his anger. Xiaoguo didn’t understand what was going on, so Zhuang Zhuang explained to her from the side.

“Someone wanted to bring Xiaoyi back yesterday, but Xiaoyi said that the food here is too good, and he refused to go back. That’s why his father came today.”

After Zhuang Zhuang explained, Xiaoguo finally understood.

“Xiaoyi?” Xiaoguo sighed and walked to the bed where the boy was lying down. She sat down beside him and reached out to nudge him.

“Xiao Yi?”

After calling out a few times, Xiaoyi still didn’t answer. She picked him up and placed him in her arms.

“Xiao Yi, can you tell me why you don’t like your father?”

Xiaoguo pulled away Xiaoyi’s hands that were covering his face. She directed the question at the boy, who was frowning.

“…”

Still Xiaoyi said nothing.

Seeing this, Xiaoguo could only sigh helplessly. She pretended to be sad and said, “Alright then. It’s fine if Xiaoyi doesn’t say anything. I thought that we were friends. I thought that you liked me as much as I liked you. It turns out that it was just my wishful thinking.”

Xiaoyi’s eyes were still closed. When he heard Xiaoguo’s words, he immediately opened his eyes and said anxiously, “No, no! I like you, I really like you! You’re my friend too!”

Seeing how anxious he was, Xiaoguo smiled gently to herself.

“Then when I was talking to you just now, you ignored me…”

Xiaoguo said with a miserable look.

Xiaoyi immediately turned around and looked at Xiaoguo. “No, no. It’s just that I don’t want to see that person.”

“That person?” Xiaoguo was stunned. “Was it Shao Zhan?”

“Why don’t you like him?”

Xiaoguo struck while the iron was hot.

“Because… because…”

Xiaoyi was furious at first. He wanted to point out his father’s flaws, but he was unable to say anything after a long pause.

Slowly, Xiaoyi became calmer. “That’s right. Why do I hate him?”

“He didn’t treat me well? No, he treated me well.”

“He didn’t love me? No, he loved me very much. He said I was his heart. He couldn’t live without me.”

“Then why do I hate him…”

Xiaoyi’s eyes were filled with confusion. Why did he hate him? Does he really hate his father?

Xiaoguo stroked the top of Xiaoyi’s head and looked into his confused eyes. She slowly said, “Why does Xiaoyi hate him? Is it because he wasn’t with you before you were three?”

Xiaoyi and Zhuang Zhuang were very similar. They regarded the absence of their fathers as a form of exclusion. In fact, as long as they had the chance to spend time together, they still had a lot of admiration for their fathers.

Xiaoyi nodded. “Yes, yes. Actually, I don’t hate him. It’s just that…”

“You were just subconsciously avoiding him.”

Xiaoguo finished his sentence for him and looked at the boy with certainty.

Xiaoyi nodded vigorously. “That’s right!”

Zhuang Zhuang was listening to their conversation and quickly stepped forward. “Just like me.”

Xiaoyi’s interest was piqued. He picked up from there and started exchanging his thoughts with Zhuang Zhuang.

Xiaoguo didn’t disturb the two of them and slipped outside. She would let the two children have the room. Perhaps it would be easier for them to communicate with each other.

When Xiaoguo was heading back to the room, she bumped into a few people coming out of the study. Shao Zhan looked like he was about to leave, so Xiaoguo quickly went back into the house and called Xiaoyi out.

“Okay, okay, let’s go back. It’s getting cold.”

Shao Zhan waved at the few men around him. Then, he appeared to be looking for something. In the end, he saw a small figure standing at a corner.

“I thought he wouldn’t come out…”

Shao Zhan suddenly laughed out loud.

Seeing him like this, Xiaoyi couldn’t help but laugh with him.

When Shao Zhan saw this, he smiled happily. Then, his eyes immediately teared up.

Before the tear could trickle out, Shao Zhan turned around and quickly got into the carriage. Then, he tried to control his trembling voice and said, “… Let’s go back.”

The carriage and the group of soldiers quickly departed.

Xiaoyi looked at the departing carriage, but his mind was replaying what he had just seen earlier. He remained rooted to the ground. “I saw that quite clearly, was that a tear…?”

Xiaoguo watched the carriage disappear and was about to bring the two children back when she looked down and saw that Xiaoyi was rooted to the spot. She thought that he was suddenly reluctant to part with Shao Zhan and rubbed his head comfortingly.

Jiang Danhe turned around and saw that Xiaoguo was wearing so little. He was worried about her. “Hurry up and go back.”

Xiaoguo knew what he meant, so she nodded and pulled the kids back into the house.

The next morning, Xiaoguo spent her time sewing boots in the house. After a day and a night of hard work, the boots were almost finished.

“Mother, Mother.”

Zhuang Zhuang ran to Xiaoguo’s side.

Xiaoguo set the boots down and patted his back, where he was panting from running. “What’s wrong? Why are you in such a hurry?”

Zhuang Zhuang tried to catch his breath and said, “I saw Magistrate Liu just now. He told me that we will be going back tomorrow.”

Zhuang Zhuang’s voice was filled with happiness and reluctance. “Once I go home, I won’t be able to see Xiaoyi, and Father.”

Xiaoguo’s stomach lurched at those words. “Where is he now?”