Willpower

Thinking about it this way, he didn’t seem to have forgotten about her over time. Instead, he was missing her more and more.

The emotions that he deliberately suppressed seemed to have erupted again at this moment because of Xiaoguo. They came so quickly and aggressively that he was completely taken by surprise.

Then, Shao Zhan used all his strength to put the jade pendant back into his garments, near to his heart. This seemed to be the only way for him to not break down from thinking about her.

–

After leaving, Xiaoguo did not go back directly. Instead, she could not wait to find Zhao Yuyan and tell her the good news.

As soon as she entered the room, she realized that it was empty and the bed was clean. The person who should have been lying on the bed was nowhere to be seen. Even Yu Ling was not around. This puzzled Xiaoguo very much.

When she came out in confusion, she bumped into Yu Ling, who had just rushed back.

“Madam, you’re here!”

Yu Ling said in surprise.

Xiaoguo nodded. Seeing how sweaty Yu Ling was, she asked curiously, “Why are you sweating so much?”

“My mother wanted to drink water. Coincidentally, there’s no more water at home. There was some delay along the way. Luckily I gave my mother the apple that you sent to us before I went out. Otherwise, she would have become extremely thirsty by now.”

Yu Ling was chattering away as she carried the kettle into the house.

Xiaoguo followed behind her, wanting to ask her where Zhao Yuyan had gone. However, she did not have the chance to interrupt. It was only when Yu Ling looked at her anxiously that she had the chance to ask, “You don’t know where your mother went either?”

“I don’t know. Earlier on, she said that she was thirsty. Had she gone out to look for water because she couldn’t wait any longer? It’s all my fault for coming back so late…”

Yu Ling was filled with regret. If only she had known, she would have come back earlier. Why did she try to be a busybody? If she had not tried to fetch water for that old lady, she wouldn’t have wasted so much time.

Xiaoguo didn’t agree with Yu Ling’s speculations. It didn’t seem like Zhao Yuyan had gone out to look for water. With this in mind, she asked, “Yuling, see if there’s anything missing from the house.”

“What?” Yu Ling didn’t understand why Xiaoguo was asking her about that, but she still looked around seriously. She was about to shake her head when she suddenly thought of something. She ran outside and saw that the shovel in the corner had disappeared.

Xiaoguo followed her out. She could tell at a glance where Zhao Yuyan had gone, but she couldn’t tell Yu Ling about it. Hence, she comforted her first before finding an excuse to leave and walk towards the back of the mountain.

After Yu Ling returned to the house, she got more and more uneasy as she thought about it. When she saw Xiaoguo leave, she couldn’t sit still anymore. She wanted to go out and look for her mother. But when she came out, she saw Xiaoguo, who had just made up an excuse to go home. In fact, she was actually secretly heading towards the back of the mountain.

Yu Ling was not a slow person. Instead, she was very clear-headed. She had always been very suspicious of her mother and Xiaoguo. The two of them seemed to have become very familiar with each other overnight. From their conversations, it always felt like they were hiding some secrets.

Yu Ling didn’t want to speculate about the two of them, but she still followed Xiaoguo.

Xiaoguo was very familiar with the route. She arrived at the same place that she had come just the other day.

As expected, she heard a woman coughing before she got close.

Xiaoguo sighed softly and walked over.

“How can you walk so far and dig so much soil when you’re thirsty?”

Zhao Yuyan, who was immersed in digging, was shocked by the sudden voice. After calming down, she looked at the person.

“Why are you here?”

Hearing her question, Zhao Yuyan guessed that Xiaoguo might have bumped into Yu Ling. She quickly asked, “Did Yu Ling go back?”

Xiaoguo nodded. Zhao Yuyan quickly picked up the shovel and started walking up. As she walked, she said, “If Yuling can’t see me, she will definitely start getting anxious.

Xiaoguo pulled her back and said, “If you knew that Yuling would be anxious, why didn’t you lie down and rest?”

“Why should I lie down? In two days’ time, I can lie down as much as I want. While I can still move, I have to dig out the grave. When the time comes, I can just make my way here.”

Zhao Yuyan was superstitious about having no grave after one’s death. She didn’t want to be like the others, who were wrapped up in a straw mat and thrown into a pit after they died.

Although she couldn’t live with dignity, she wanted to die with dignity.

Even without the burial clothes and coffin, she had to dig a bigger grave and erect the tombstone. She didn’t want to become a nameless person like everyone else after she died.

What she liked the most about herself was her name. It was given to her by her father. When she was born, Magistrate Zhao looked at the courtyard happily and wrote an impromptu poem.

“In the courtyard, fragrant orchids attract a pair of butterflies. In the warm spring, flowers bloom and swallows return.”

Xianglan was her mother’s name. Yuyan was her name. She was born during the warm spring season. The swallows had flown for a long time and returned to this land. Everything seemed to be filled with vitality and prosperity.

As for the name “Yuyan”, it was not only Magistrate Zhao’s hope and blessing for his only daughter. He also wanted her to be like the swifts, working hard to find their destination. No matter what kind of desperate situation they were in, they never gave up easily. She should be tenacious and not bow down to defeat.

Before she got married, she had always lived like this. She did not let her father down at all. However, after she got married, she had no choice.

In the end, this little swift could no longer withstand the rain and was about to collapse before she could fly into the warm spring.

“If you lay here, you won’t be able to see what the outside of the island looks like. You won’t be able to see Yu Ling in the future.”

Xiaoguo couldn’t bear to see Zhao Yuyan looking like she had nothing left to live for. Her initial desire to live had completely disappeared. She was now filled with a deathly aura. Her body, which could have lasted for a few more days, looked like it was about to collapse at any moment.

When Zhao Yuyan heard her words, she didn’t get it at first. Then, she turned around and looked at Xiaoguo. She got so excited that she became incoherent. “What… what do you mean by that?”

Xiaoguo snickered. “It’s what you think it is.”

“Can I say that I will regain my freedom again?”

Xiaoguo nodded silently, agreeing with her guess.

Zhao Yuyan’s legs instantly went weak. She quickly held on to the shovel and nodded countless times in disbelief at Xiaoguo. Only then did she believe that this was an unrealistic reality that she had never dared to dream about.

Her sunken eyes were now engorged, and the tears that were welling up looked like they were filled with blood. The veins on her neck and forehead were bulging from excitement. Her dry mouth was unable to utter a single word as well. She could only open and close her mouth to tell Xiaoguo how happy she was.

It was a terrifying scene, but Xiaoguo could only feel sadness.

Xiaoguo believed very much that a person’s willpower was limitless.

A long time ago, she had heard of an old man who had terminal cancer. In order to see his unborn grandson, he relied on his willpower to last for another eight months. When his grandson was born, the old man gave the baby a name before passing on.

Therefore, she also believed that if she could provoke Zhao Yuyan a little more, she would definitely be able to hold on for some time. At the very least, she would be able to leave the island. If she died after seeing that Yu Ling had settled down, her mental state would definitely be different as compared to now.

This was the least she could do for this poor woman.

Xiaoguo told her a lot and painted a rosy scenario for her. For example, if she managed to leave the island, she would be able to see Yu Ling jumping around and enjoying the fresh air outside. She could completely abandon her status as a family member of the convicted and live freely for the rest of her life.

This series of actions successfully aroused Zhao Yuyan’s desire to live. She couldn’t stop imagining their life after they leave the island.

Xiaoguo looked at the woman’s look of yearning and heaved a sigh of relief. Seeing how energetic she looked, Xiaoguo felt relieved. At least she didn’t have to worry about Zhao Yuyan dying here alone.